The Dangerous Allure of Retirement

Yesterday, I happend across a YouTube channel ("Before It's Too Late" ) that discusses life in the later years. I watched the video which professes that "Solitude" is beneficial to longivity. As I watched this video the message was clear. Solitude is the best and only best medicine. Maybe if you hate humanity!

The video was titled "For Those Over 70, Staying Home Is Truly the BEST Thing You Can Do for Yourself." I was clickbaited and I watched it. In some regards, it made complete sense. It was clear that this was an AI generated video, but that said, the insights and lessons in the video are supposedly drawn from real experiences and reflections shared by real individuals. The video disclaimer: "All advice represents personal perspectives and should not be considered a substitute for professional guidance. Always consult qualified professionals for medical, financial, or legal advice."

At first, I was drawn to the message like an addict to meth. The message was clear - "Check your pulse every morning and you don't have to pay a cover charge for participating in life." Everything was boiled down to this internal argument to stay home and do nothing. The idea of doing nothing is something I'm no stranger to - I mean it's why I retired in the first place! But to do nothing on repeat? That sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.

The video focused on those over the age of 70, staying home and doing absolutely nothing as the most radical, intelligent, and healthy thing you can possibly do for yourself. But I'm not buying it. The one thing I most agreed with is that the home is a sanctuary. There is absolutely nothing wrong with rising with the sun, pouring a cup of black coffee, and sitting on the porch listening to the birds chirp. And I feel this way some days, but to do it everyday would be reclusive... and then you become a hermit. And the more I watched this video, the more depressing it got.

Options and Ingredients.

For individuals over 70, the "better" option depends on whether the solitude is chosen (positive solitude) or imposed (loneliness). A balance between active engagement and peaceful, self-directed time is ideal. Activity is generally better for physical and cognitive health, reducing dementia risk, and combating the dangerous physical health impacts of isolation, which include a 50% higher risk of death. Solitude (when chosen) can be psychologically rewarding, offering freedom, increased happiness, self-expression, and a chance to process emotions.

Solitude: The Benefits of "Time Alone." Many people over 70 find that solitude brings peace and freedom rather than loneliness. It reduces stress, which allows for emotional regulation and a break from social pressures. It allows for solitary activities like reading, painting, or gardening, which promote feelings of purpose. Older adults who choose solitude often feel empowered and more in control of their lives.

Home is One's Santuary!

Activity: The Benefits of "Engagement." Social activity is essential to prevent the negative effects of chronic loneliness, which is associated with depression and mortality. For physical health, moving, joining group classes, or walking with others keeps the body active and independent. Social interaction reduces the risk of cognitive decline and dementia. Active engagement in community, volunteering, or visiting friends provides a sense of being needed and useful.

The key is to create a personal routine that avoids "loneliness" (the painful feeling of being alone) while embracing "solitude" (the peaceful experience of being alone). This is especially important when living overseas in a different culture where it becomes easy to feel alone. Where we live in the Philippines, it's become increasingly difficult for me to converse with locals on a level that is healthy (more frustrating than not). Sure, there are other expats I can talk and relate to, but at home and around the village, it's easy to feel isolated and out of touch. Solitude is forced upon you.

Retirement Should Not Be Expensive.

I also agreed with a point identified in the video that the world outside is designed to extract your money. Every time you open your front door, it costs money. Maybe it's for a mediocre lunch, or a ticket to do something. Someone is looking for a donation. It's money spent for gas. When I stay home, my life costs exactly what I planned for it to cost. My black coffee costs me about .12 cents a cup. Activities (or solitude) around the house are generally free and brings a financial peace that comes with being completely content in your own living room, or in my case, my man cave.

Okay, maybe a little more than .12 cents per cup.

Balance.

Balancing boredome (which is free) with activites that cost little is the balance I seek. Riding my scooter keeps me physically active. Creating videos and blogging keeps my mind engaged. Whether it be here in Guam or in the Philippines, I have solititude when I choose. Social activities are also of my choosing. The best thing about solitude - When you allow yourself to just sit at home, something miraculous happens to your physical body. Your breathing deepens. The tension in your shoulders releases. You sleep better. When your mind clears, when your environment is completely calm, your body receives a signal that it's safe to repair itself. Silence becomes a companion. When you stay home, when you remove the constant distractions of the modern world, you give yourself the space to actually process your life.

When you are a highly scheduled employee of your own existence, things tend to go sideways. I keep a calendar on my wall and my goal is to keep it as empty as possible. A blank white square on a Tuesday doesn't mean I have nothing to do. It means I have the ultimate freedom to decide what I want to do in that exact moment. It's a blank canvas. It's the ultimate luxury.

I Am the Architect of My Own Peace.

In summary, I can't entirely agree that one should just stay home and not be engaged. But there is a quiet dignity in taking control of your own environment. I decide when the day begins. I decide when I eat. I decide if I want to read a book or work on a video for 5 hours straight without speaking to another human being (except the wife). I ride when I want. I end the day when I choose to end it. My home isn't a waiting room, it's a destination. And today, I'm staying home and will enjoy every single second of it... doing absolutely nothing. Right after I finish writing this article.

Visit more articles about life in retirement like this here on this blog and on my YouTube channel like "Retirement Kills."