The Philippine Wife – The “Asawa”

My Asawa Loves Zumba
My Asawa Loves Zumba

There are many obvious and untold reasons why I love my asawa (pictured here) but, I won’t detail or discect our relationship here out of respect for her, not to mention it could land me in hot water with the further possibility of  “bolo” justice being levied on me. Just kidding. But I can tell you that finding that special Filipina woman can be a very rewarding and fulfilling experience. While there are beautiful women in every race known to man, Filipina women are known to be some of the most beautiful women in the world and have won the hearts of men of all different nationalities from across the globe. The ethnic ancestry of a Filipina woman can result from a rich mix of Asian or half Asian, Spanish, Portuguese, Malay, Chinese and even Caucasian and Negro, and explains the diverse differences in skin complexions that range from dark brown to soft olive to light tan. The mix of Caucasian and Filipina has been known to produce some of the lightest skinned and most beautiful Asian children.

Beauty, more than skin deep!
Beauty, more than skin deep!

Aside from their beauty, Filipina women are generally shy. This is deeply rooted in their conservative upbringing and totally unlike western cultures where being liberal is widely accepted. Dating conservative Filipina women is not like dating western women. Courtship more accurately describes the process of dating in the Philippines where it takes much more time and effort to get to know her. Call it old fashioned if you will, but this is just one important character trait that makes the Filipina so attractive to western men looking away from liberal women for a more traditional wife. I’ll probably take some heat here from the more liberated women in western societies for describing it like this, but it is what it is.

Negrito Family in Philippines
Negrito Family in Philippines

While I have been happily married to my wife going on 27 years, and from what I know, little has changed with the customs of courting the ladies in the Philippines. Okay yes, you can go to the larger cities like Manila and Cebu and find those more liberated ladies for the one-night stands or the quickie relationships, but once you venture out into the provincial areas of the country, things can get back to basics, complete with the full set of dating rules, rather quickly.  Courting a woman in the province can mean fully chaperoned dates and then sit down meetings or dinner with the parents, aunts and uncles, even grandparents…and it’s all considered a normal part of the dating and approval process. Many times it will take several dates and family approval before you can be left to date alone, and then you will probably have to have her home before dark!

Just as in every other corner of the western world where you find that women may be more attracted to your wallet, your job, and your looks, the Philippines is not much different except that the numbers of women that approach man-hunting in this way are in the minority. The good, well grounded Filipina women tend not to be particularly concerned with looks as they will be more focused on personality. While money and potential security are a big plus when looking for a man, if you have the personal traits that a Filipina woman looks for, then there’s a big chance you will win her heart. Filipina women like men who are sincere and honest. Patience is also a virtue and is why it takes longer to court a Filipina woman. Patience is a good indicator of the sincerity of your intentions.  There are many desirable virtues that the Filipina holds that will overshadow their western counterparts, most which can be described as or based in traditional values. Trusting, faithful, honest, sincere, kind, thoughtful, and loving, are some of the adjectives used to describe the Filipina. “Appreciative” is also an attribute that is high on the list but that trait is not reserved for the women folk alone. Filipinos in general are raised to sincerely appreciate what they have or have been given.

Pretty Filipina
Pretty Filipina

Dating women in the Philippines is a subject that is well documented by many, many others, so I won’t attempt to re-write the book here. Also, don’t take what I’ve presented here as totally factual. There is much truth in what I have just described here but, before you go make some immediate wild decision to quit your job and launch your search in finding a Filipina mate, there is much more to these little beauties that meets the eye. One of the first steps in knowing whether a Filipina wife will be right for you is a compete understanding of the culture in which they are raised. For example, one thing to understand is this: her family will usually always come before you. Because there are many complex character and cultural differences between westerners and Filipinos, I am going to suggest you do your homework to gain a more complete understanding of the culture and better insights into the dating scene…the current dating scene!

Visit my Shop Resources page for books available on topics ranging from travelling to Filipina women. Good luck with finding your Filipina heart!

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27 thoughts on “The Philippine Wife – The “Asawa”

  1. Randy:

    So envious of your 27 years together. I believe I have found my asawa and have begun the K-1 process. Not sure whether at my age I will get 27 years, but whatever we get together I will enjoy to the fullest!

  2. Thanks for visiting and your kind comment. Hope the best for you and your fiance and remember that love is not measured in years, but rather by quality of the life you spend with her.

  3. Pinay can be amazingly good women. Get the the right one for you and life will be mostly sweet. As for your Pinay wife putting her family ahead of you, yes she will in most cases.

  4. Hola Randy, thanks for the recommendation to my site. What you wrote here is true, summed up [quote] “Just as in every other corner of the western world where you find that women may be more attracted to your wallet, your job, and your looks, the Philippines is not much different except that the numbers of women that approach man-hunting in this way are in the minority. The good, well grounded Filipina women tend not to be particularly concerned with looks as they will be more focused on personality.” [end quote]

    There is no such thing as any group of anyone being ‘all’ good or bad. What makes Filipina women such a draw for men from all over the world is that, as you mentioned, the ratio of women here raised with old-school values is very high compared to the West and Europe. Women here are taught since they are little girls that part of being a good Catholic is to love their husband, respect him and be faithful to him. Along the way, as they grow up.. yes, some women abandon their roots for Western ‘individualism’ and end up as confused, selfish and demanding as what we are used to in our home countries. However.. the majority of them retain the values of being a loving wife and are very appreciative to a good man who loves them in return.

    One last thought as a tangent.. not all foreign men are ‘good guys’ either. Some come and abuse the kindnesses of Filipina women and I have no tolerance for it. If a man is lucky enough to find himself a loving Filipina who accepts him as he is.. he ought to treat her like gold the rest of her life. If not, then he should not get married, just stick with being a bachelor and spend his time with the ‘contemporary’ Filipinas who likewise have learned to play the field.

  5. Sounds great to me. I will sure find out in June when I get there to finally personally meet my dream lady. At my age I know I won’t make it another 27 years but I intend to live my remaining years in happiness.

  6. With a good woman and living in the Philippines, you will learn to enjoy life to it’s fullest, one day at a time. Treat her special and you will be treated royally in return!

  7. Nice article Randy. My wife is very much the modern woman and and our actual relationship started after two and a half years of chatting on the web. When we finally met it was like we already knew each other and things progressed from there. She is very conservative but she has a playful streak and life is always interesting. Most of what you say is true but we never had the chaperoned dates. The family knew who I was already, lol.

  8. Thank you Mark. I’m sure it would have been a different story had you met her in person first! Hurry up and get there will ya! We’re gonna have to get together one day and eat, drink….

  9. 27 years of marriage. I remember that for my wife and I. That was in April 2007. I believe we went to a Japanese restaurant that anniversary. I can’t remember them all. I didn’t have to worry about any of the Filipino customs when I first got married and really never at all. You can read why at this link: . It is the story of how my wife and I met and the little problems we encountered. I think that if I was looking for a wife though, it would be a Filipina, without question. Finding a wife is easy, finding a good wife takes some work or some luck. Me, I got lucky.

  10. John, you didn’t have to endure the dating customs because Lita was already westernized! lol I think finding a good wife takes a bit of luck regardless of where she comes from. It’s just More Fun in the Philippines! And for all you forgetful types that may read this, Valentines day is just around the corner! (hint)

  11. Henry, unfortunately over the years, we have seen some real losers shop their wives online, take one trip to that country, complete the paperwork and bring her home…to “hell!” One Filipina we came to know settled here only to realize after about 6 months that she had taken a big step down and found herself married to a drunken abusive redneck with no job (and no teeth) and no future. She finally managed to escape his clutches as it took a couple of years to final her divorce. Life in America became a nightmare for her. There are many more stories of young ‘unknowing’ women who come to the U.S. with the idea that their life will be a bed of roses only to have all their hopes and dreams shattered when they wind up in such undesirable situations. It’s not always a Cinderella story. 🙁

  12. I hate predators.. whether they be foreign men abusing women or foreign women looking to financially guy a nice guy. (Happened to a friend of mine, she took him for all he was worth, including half his retirement 401(k)) Just another reason why I tell people to spend ‘minimum’.. one year knowing the person IN PERSON, not online.

  13. It’s probably a good idea to sign a pre-nup these days as it’s hard to trust anyone. My dad used to say you could sum up someone’s character by looking in their eyes while measuring their handshake grip. Not so much these days.

  14. Very true. All the more reason I endorse spending a year of ‘real-life dating’, in person before getting married. And that’s a minimum. Time weeds out impatient scammers.

  15. You’re welcome Shella! I always love talking about how Filipinas make good wifes. I try never to get on my asawa’s wrong side though!

  16. Is your wife from Samar that’s why you’re retiring there? 🙂 Try the alimango and talaba. You will love the fresh seafood in Samar 🙂

  17. Yes, she is from the Oquindo District and Brgy Begaho. I have been eating fresh fish almost daily as my brother in law is a fisherman and we enjoy the pick of fish in the morning. Even though I have lost some weight, I will say this…I do miss a good cheeseburger now and then! Thanks for visiting.

  18. Very good info. We will be going to Calbayog in July for two weeks so I can meet her family. She hasn’t been home in six years herself. Foreign worker.

  19. Thanks Mike. The longest my wife was gone was ten years. Will this be your first visit to the Philippines? I sense a big homecoming party coming on! Give a shout out if you want to meet up somewhere. I always enjoy meeting newcomers to the area.

  20. 26 more days and I’ll be on my way there. Really enjoy your videos and blogs.

  21. where is a good place to get coffee there. I keep hearing that the coffee is hard to come by.

  22. If you are referring to ground coffee in a can, yes. Tacloban is the closest place to buy. I am a converted instant coffee drinker, not by choice. You can get brewed coffee in town though… at a price of about P65 per cup and up!

  23. Lol Tacloban! That’s not near the Ciriaco Hotel I’m guessing. I think I’ll bring some instead. Though Instant would work pretty well too. Whats the weather been like of late there? We’ve been in the 90’s here in western NY and dry for a bit.

  24. We will be there in one week. Can’t wait…

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